Sunday, September 6, 2009

Piss off your server

I can totally tell these guys are douches.

Things you can do to piss off your very kind and usually tolerant server:

Request the menu presentation despite having (all) seen it a million times.

Try to cram 5 adults into a booth and when that obviously fails, pull up a chair in the aisle. Refuse a larger table.

Refuse a menu card, saying you already know it all so well you can order without it. Proceed to order all sorts of items not on the menu like rice. And onion rings (wtf?).

Pick all the crust off the onion loaf and then ask your server for another, but JUST THE CRUST. (muffin-tops Seinfield episode, anyone?)

Order a whiskey sour. Send it back after a sip for an amaretto sour. Send it back saying it's "too strong" and order a mojito. Tell the manager you didn't like it and have it taken off the bill. But oh no, don't stop ordering cocktails you obviously don't want!

Ask your server to repeat the seafood options for the surf&turf special (which is already way under priced) as many times as possible and refuse to understand.

Order a salad but then modify it beyond recognition. Example: order the salad of iceberg and romaine lettuces, blue cheese dressing, egg and anchovies; change to only romaine, pre-chopped up, add tomato, no anchovies, add onion and bacon but leave the egg. Thanks. A lot.

Take over 1.5h to eat your entree at 11pm and refuse to let the server take any plates away when he/she asks if you're finished with the BONE. Four times.

Join a random table that is almost finished and talk to them for an hour. Bonus points if you order white wine in a red wine glass, take 40 minutes on that, order another but tell the server you'll want a cappuccino after the 2nd glass (your 5th+ of the night) which you'll also take 40 minutes to drink just so she has to stand around waiting for you to let her only table finish so she can go home. Make sure it's a Sunday 'cause they're supposed to close (early) at 10pm so you can keep her extra late!

Walk in 3 minutes before closing, tell you server you want to "take your time" and when you finally order, tag a souffle on the end. (this is a really good one cause you'll not only piss off your server, but you'll REALLY piss off the pastry chef!!)

Call 2 minutes before closing and say your 5 minutes away, hold the door!

...I'm getting steamed just thinking about it.

No comments:

Post a Comment